646f9e108c A pair of reformed gangsters try to find a husband for their newly discovered sister, but complications arise due to mistaken identities. Uday Shetty and Majnu Bhai have left the underworld, and are now big businessmen. Two women, Chandni and Maharani, enter their life. Chandni is the new love in Uday Shetty and Majnu's life and both friends dream of tying the knot with her. However, Appa - Uday's father, plays spoilsport by bringing in his other daughter, Ranjana. He tells Uday Shetty to get her married to someone from a good family. Maharani puts a condition that only after her sister is married, will Chandni will marry one of them. Now, a search to find a suitable husband for Ranjana starts. When was the last that you watched a movie and after two and a half hours all you wanted was refund? Well it happened to me this evening when I watched Welcome Back. There are bad movies (Humshakals), there are worse movies (Himmatwala) then there is fifty feet of crap and then there is Welcome Back. The movie begins with the Majnu(Anil Kapoor) and Uday(Nana Patekar) living an honest life but still not entirely happy as they haven't been able to find a suitable bride for themselves. Then enter Maharani and her daughter(Ddimple Kapadia and Ankita Shrivastava respectively) and both the Bhais fall for the same girl (again). Only they don't know that these women are not what they say, in reality they are here to con Majnu and Uday. One girl creates the divide between Majnu and Uday and when things are just about to get thick enters Shankar Shetty, Uday's father played by Nana Patekar. He drops him with the news about his third marriage and the daughter he has with that marriage- Ranjahana(Shruti Hasan). And now it's uday's responsibility to find a suitable groom for her. In the meantime Dr. Ghongroo (Paresh Rawal) discovers that her wife too had a son outside her marriage which he was never told about. This son of Ghongroo is a local goon in Mumbai, Ajju Bhai(Jhon Abraham). Uday and Majnu want Ghongroo to marry their sister with his son as they don't know that he is not what they think he is but little do they know that their sister already is in love with the same guy. After getting to know the truth about Ajju they decide to take help from the underworld don Wanted Bhai(Nasseruddin Shah), but again are unknown of the fact that his son Honey(Shiny Ahuja) is in love with their sister too. All this lead to a series of confusion and that's how we have our movie. The story of the movie has nothing new to offer as it is a complete rip off of welcome with slight changes here and there and two new characters of maharani and his daughter (which still doesn't change a thing). The script written by Anes Bazmi himself is filled with dialogues which are trying too hard to be funny but ends up being more than just lame (except few dialogues by Nana Patekar). Welcome didn't have great music but still the songs had a unique quality about them. But in welcome back music is as bad as it can get. The soundtracks for welcome back was composed by seven artists- Meet bros, Mika Singh, Honey Singh, Milind Gaba, Abhishek Ray, Sidhant Madhvan and Anu Malik but not even one of them couldn't make a single soundtrack that one can take back with them. The lyrics of these songs make it even worse. The background score which was the high point of welcome's music department too fails miserably as it is nothing but the remixed version of the background score of welcome. The ensemble cast of welcome back too fails to deliver unlike it happened with welcome. Apart from Nana Patekar and Nasseruddin Shah none of the actors have managed to put up a decent show. John Abraham has always been a little short when it came to comedy but here he is completely out of space and for once Akshay kumar is missed. Paresh Rawal has sleep walked through his role of Dr. Ghongroo as he had nothing to offer in this movie. So did Ankita Shrivastava and Dimple Kapadia who was completely out of space and showed a complete lack of comic timing. Anil Kapoor was a star in the previous one but here he is totally forgettable in his Majnu avtar with too much tilted shoulder (which in no way is funny). Nana Patekar is one actor to watch out in this movie. He has an excellent comic timing and has flawless expressions. With Nasseruddin Shah, he is the only actor who makes you laugh sometimes here and there. If someone said that Katrina Kaif was just an eye candy in welcome and had nothing much to do then they should definitely look at Shruti Hasan in this one who just can't act, and more she tries more bad it looks. She had the most forgettable performance in this ensemble cast. If bad acting, music and story want enough, direction by Anes Bazmi is the final nail in the coffin. He is not just bad, he is pathetic. He not only doomed the movie with bad story or script or dialogue but also his direction. There was no direction in the movie as there wasn't a story. All he had to do was shoot the same scenes that were there in welcome with a different set. Welcome was a complete disaster in every department. It is simply one of the worst movies to come out not only this year but in few years. This sequel to the 2007 hit comedy is nothing but your worst nightmare coming true. Apart from Nana Patekar there is nothing in this movie to watch, literally nothing. If Welcome (2007) was like spreading lots of peanut butter on a brown bread slice using a butter spreader, its sequel is like sprinkling white bread crumbs on a bowl of stale peanuts that belongs in a dustbin. The latter does not even make sense.<br/><br/>The Shetty brothers (Patekar & Kapoor) have left the underworld and are now in the real estate business. Their sister's in-laws Ghungroo (Rawal) and his wife are leading a peaceful life. But out of nowhere, both the parties find that they have a sister (Hasan) and an illegitimate son (Abraham), respectively, to euphemistically dispose of. As bizarre as it may sound, this sister and this son meet and fall in love and engage in tonsil hockey all in a matter of hours. But since the Shetty brothers have shed their criminal threads, they do not want Ghungroo's wife's illegitimate son to marry their Donald Duck of a sister because he is a local Mumbai don. As you see, the tables have turned and all that we have on the table are stale peanuts.<br/><br/>There seems to be a competition among the actors to come up with the worst performance. I was excited to see disgraced actor Shiny Ahuja's name pop up on the beginning credits, but unfortunately he wins the competition, followed by beasty Abraham (god damn Baazigar over here) as the runner up. The remaining take home consolation prizes, with the exception of Patekar, who is the only reason the film does not totally slip into nothingness.<br/><br/>Numerous songs stuffed inside the poor screenplay that play in tandem produces the right amount of boredom in its audience who by the end of the 150-minute film are sure to consult their therapists. The film gasps for a story, which looks repetitive if you have enjoyed the prequel, and the small amount of humor that it does have is mindless slapstick that induce nothing more than a titter. As a result, the screenplay tries to entertain itself by allowing its characters to play antakshari in a graveyard with two fake bodies doing rounds around them.<br/><br/>If you're still inclined to spend money on the film, all you have to do is visualize and consider this sequence: the illegitimate son hops from one camel's hump to another to another and so on to save an underworld don from a sandstorm that's breezing in. Poor camels.<br/><br/>BOTTOM LINE: Anees Bazmee's Welcome Back is sure a mindless comedy with frequent doses of action and songs that may appeal to some, but the real question is, is this a sign of Bollywood's tread into darkness?<br/><br/>GRADE: F.<br/><br/>Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
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